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in which TV STAR

This entry is formatted to attempt to be easier to read, because it's really, really long. Uh, but read it in my journal style, because this is table-formatted and my style deals with it interestingly... Obviously, if you haven't watched the episode yet, there are SUPER MEGA SPOILERS in this post. If you're in Canada, or use a Canadian proxy, watch here. If you're elsewhere, you can stream it in widescreen watch on Youtube, or just straight torrent it. If, for some reason, you want to see the commercial, here you go!







I'm backdating this post so it doesn't come early and spoil the show, but I need to write it now while the memories and experiences are still fresh in my mind.
DAY 1: August 22, 2013

No idea what to expect. Cab picks us up at 7.10 and we drive to Dixie and Lakeshore in Mississauga, to a previous Lincoln dealership. The other contestants are: Angie and her sister on the red team (who are wearing too much makeup and very short skirts. Angie is a model), Sheldon and Chris on the blue team, Diana and Michelle on the orange team, Joel and Andrew on the black team, and me and Dmitri made up the green team (you know me, I'm the one that looks like this). No one knows what to expect, except we figure we'll be beating the shit out of our cars. Mics are applied, helmets are fitted, general rules are set ("don't talk about the show unless we tell you to", "talk smack about each other, we wanna hear trashtalk")
We get called out to the first event, Hot Lap, and find out it's a TRIANGULAR TRACK, for sharp turns at high speed. You'll see the results on the show, but this event was HYSTERICALLY FUN, even when I hit the wall. Oh well. We all had our money on either Black or Red, and it ended up being Black that had their car spiked. Oh man, that first spiking was NOT what we were expecting. Nothing was.
We took a break for lunch (which was DELICIOUS I LOVE CHICKEN) and talked about what happened. Sheldon just kept getting quieter and quieter, which was sad. Christian, the host, ate upstairs with us and is a really nice guy. He told us about life in Hollywood, issues with his ex about child custody, being broke, and landing this sweet gig.
The next event was a ramp with a special sheet on it to simulate ice. NO SWEAT, just like Hot Laps. Going first for every new elevation was a lot of pressure, but I did it every time on the first try. Orange team kept trying to make me crack and lose my cool, but it never happened. SO MUCH SMOKE in that one (the CD wallet-rack-thing from my car still smells like burnt rubber!). Pretty stressful at the 14 degree marks, but nothing my car couldn't handle. FOUR HOURS TO FILM IT. We were hot, sweaty, cranky, had to take many pee breaks, and my harness dug into my shoulders. Finally, Red and Orange had to lower the incline to 16.5 degrees and go for it. Angie blew her goddamn transmission (good thing, because that car was TERRIBLE) and was out. Her spiking was just as exciting, and she didn't care. She liked to be a pain and ask me why I was on the show if I didn't want to lose my car. Hers was always exciting on the ramp, thoguh, because we sincerely thoguht she was going to fly right off when she would snap the winch and buck sideways. Holy shit.

DAY 2: August 23, 2013

Woke up too late, did my makeup, brought my flatiron. We had to look the same as the day before, because it was only for one episode. We get there, eat grilled cheese with Orange and Black, and make our way down to Snakey Strip.
Goddammit, I ate cheese and the track was a reversal race. I was not as determined today as I was yesterday, and it sucked. I was full of dread today, all day. Even so, I CREAMED THEM. Sort of. [Sept 6: I can still, two weeks later, feel the knots I had in my stomach as I went for the first reversal length. I remember hitting the brakes, getting massive butterflies, switching gears, looking back, and just going for it. My heart is pounding typing this two weeks later, that's how much anxiety Snakey Strip gave me.]
WHAT A FINISH. Took out the light tree and a barrier in a nice big explosion because I gunned it after I noticed Black had crashed his Shadow. Hitting the tree was insane, because those lightbulbs explode when they break, so all I heard was Joel hit the side, Dmitri yell GO GO GO JUST GO and my inner monologue of "oh my god Joel crashed I CAN MAKE IT" as I gunned it right into the barrier and through the tree CRASH POP POP POP BANG BOOM and I stopped for only a second and kept going because Joel was still hung up and I would win. Oh my god was it ever scary and hilarious at the same time. All of my laughter you see after that race is just exhilaration that I DID IT and that I BROKE STUFF and it was FUN. At one point (I have no idea if it will be shown), Christian and I were talking about my car, and we gestured toward it...right when a piece of shrapnel decided to pop out of one of the rear lights. I have no idea how or if they will televise that, but my god did we piss ourselves laughing. You could have edited the show to make it like that, but IT WAS SO PERFECT. ON ITS OWN.
Lighting the tree and waving the flag for the second race were definite highlights. I WAS SO EXCITED TO DO IT. I really didn't want Black to win, because I knew I could beat Orange in the final competition, whatever that would be.

Once again, we took a break for lunch. We didn't spike the orange team's car right away, so they went to the mall while the rest of us prepared for the final race. We were allowed to look at and walk the final course while getting a walkthrough of what needed to be done (navigate, hit button, reverse through cars, over bumpy shit, seesaw, over logs, through mud, turntable seesaw, put block in hole). Right before my turn, Christian was talking to me and just flat-out goes "you're hot" and blames it on the dude talking in his earpiece. Fucking HYSTERICAL!
STUPID FINAL RACE. Swervy, twisty, tight, with forward and backward, with see-saws and water and mud (lol remember when I posted this?). My god, was it ever frustrating and fun at the same time. I had no idea how Joel did, but I felt terrible. At this time (the day of filming that segment), I have no idea how I look on camera (probably like a goddamn giant angry bitch...I remember Christian trying to make me chill a bit because I knew at that point that I had lost my car), but I was REALLY GODDAMN FRUSTRATED and angry at myself for all those mistakes. I didn't look back while reversing and I didn't think before I went through the mud piles (which is when I discovered I had blown two tires and lost my side decorations). I had a hard time because I let my nerves get to me and I was a bad driver. Later, I was also informed that Joel's Shadow had no problem negotiating the tight turns inside the barriers.

I deeply regret not just gunning it and hitting every single damn door on those cars, because I WOULD HAVE WON.

I did not win. We spiked Orange's car, I commented how Joel's shoes weren't muddy at all like mine were (from getting out of the car for them to lift it out of the mud)...and then we went inside. And then we came out to see my car and the Black car sitting under the spike. My god, every moment until the crane came through my windshield was horrible...and then I was horror-struck. Yes, that is my actual scream of despair when the crane arm drops.

I tried my best not to cry. I just couldn't believe my time with it was over. Is over. When we walked to the safety box thing to watch the actual spiking, I just steeled myself. The spiking was amazing. I loved the waterfall of glass coming up and over the car when it finally sank down on top of Diana's shitty Sunfire and leaked the brand new coolant on her hood. I distanced myself from it for a while, while they interviewed the Black team on the Snakey Strip. I just crouched quietly in the shade while the director watched from afar. No one came to get me, as was normal after every event and stage in filming. They let me have my time. My interview crying is VERY controlled. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to look at the spike with my car on top. I didn't want Meredith asking me about anything. In fact, the first thing she said to me when the camera rolled was "so let's talk about what just happened" and I simply told her "no".
Christian gave me a huge hug and so did Joel and Andrew after I signed away my car for $1500 and received the box full of stuff I had left in the car (stereo, mats, CDs, REARVIEW MIRROR AND MOUNTING KIT FOR IT, a Pokemon toy, and my spider air freshener...I'm having them mail me my key intact with the discount tags attached to it. I want to keep it) [two weeks later, I do not have my key. where the fuck is my key with all my discount cards on it??].

I lost Last Car Standing because of me, not my car. I lost my car for myself. I lost the chance to put $10k into my car and have it for many years to come. Although, how long do you want to have a 98 Grand Am? ...

And I had just paid off my last repair bill, too.



Dmitri's dad called a friend right away when we got home, and we went to see a car. The car was a nice shimmery blue, which made me tear up, because that's what I wanted to do with part of the money: paint the Grand Am. He wanted $1350 for the car, a 1999 Cavalier with 135k km on it...not bad, but I want something more than ONE year newer than my old car. I took it for a spin...and the key was almost exactly like my one for the Grand Am. It had the black rubber thing on it with the GM logo...and I teared up. I couldn't handle it. When I stopped the car, I attempted to do the ignition trick to get the key out...but I wasn't driving the Grand Am.

And I won't. Ever. Again.

I have been looking at and replying to ads for the past little bit. Slowly. It's still fresh. I found one for a 2003 black Grand Am, though... with a sunroof. Tomorrow, we're going to a few more dealerships Nick knows.

Writing this up has been really touch and go. My eyes well up when I talk about certain things, but I have to let it go. I'll never drive it again. I loved that car. Stupid thing.

Aug 27
I FOUND A CAR ON FRIDAY :D I no longer get teary-eyed talking about the Grand Am. There's a good nostalgic feeling when I think about it now. An "old friend that I'll never see again but will always love and remember" feeling. I found a silver 2002 Impala [lol I love taking mysterious photos and uploading them to Twitter...sorry, guys, I needed to share the news with you without you knowing I was sharing the news] with 243k km on it...which is a lot, but the car is basically in beautiful condition and will only cost me $1500. I put $300 down on it.
UNFORTUNATELY, the bank saw the lovely $1500 I deposited and PROMPTLY MOVED $925 OF IT TO MY CREDIT CARD. FUCK YOU BANK I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. I was hoping NOT to go into overdraft to purchase the new car, but luckily this Friday (the day I buy the car, because the bank is holding all but $200 of the cheque EXCEPT FOR THEM TO STEAL IT) is also payday, and I've racked up a lot of hours, so I should get...a whopping $800 :/
OH WELL NEW CAR THAT I CAN'T SHOW YOU OR TALK ABOUT UNTIL MARCH. Goddammit, this is really difficult.
At least I'm not in any kind of debt any more, right at this second. I will be opening a no-fee bank account THIS WEEK.

[Sept 6] I've had the Impala for a week now and I LOVE IT. It's beautiful. It roars when you hit the gas. The engine (a belt, most likely) squeals until it heats up and the AC is half broken, but it's beautiful. Amazing. I miss the Grand Am, but I LOVE the Impala. MORE POWER. She needs a name. Like Herbert, or Clyde. Something amazing.

[Sept 10] My brother came by today and saw the Impala for the first time. He's so jealous! He wants to know how I got that beast for only $1500. We love big cars! I can't wait to drive it down to Niagara for Thanksgiving and everyone asks me why I have a new car :D
I can't wait to help Cory car shop. He wants a Chrysler 300, which is awesome. Oh, and I'm not putting that in a regular LJ post just in case it makes you guys think I went car-shopping myself. Which I totally did!

[Nov 20] I forgot to mention: When I went down home for Thanksgiving, my family was SO JEALOUS of the new car! They're happy I don't have the Grand Am anymore, and now they're REALLY excited to see the show! I've told dates lately about the show and everyone's just really super excited to watch! Wow, you can totally tell how much of a good mood I'm in after Dmitri. I hope I don't watch the show with someone who will make that all awkward. I don't tear up thinking about the Grand Am anymore, and I still don't have my goddamn key. Watching the episode is going to be intense, though, oh my god. I really hope they don't make me look stupid :(
It just killed me to have to reschedule this post from March to May. 6 more months, guys :(

[Dec 28] I just reread this post and fixed some grammar and typos. Oh my god I can't wait to watch it.

[Apr 8] TWO MORE WEEKS, GUYS!! Rescheduling this post to show up the morning of May 14. I still have to get that fucking belt fixed, one of my wipers doesn't work, and it needs coolant. But I can't tell you about my car troubles in a regular post, because then you'll know I don't have a fixed-up Grand Am!
Added a bunch of shit for behind-the-scenes stuff.


Ask me anything! If you want to know more about ANYTHING, ask away!

Comments

( 4 spoke — Orate )
skittlebox
14th May, 2013 13:54 (UTC)
Was it awkward watching dumitri???
hidden_kitten
14th May, 2013 14:35 (UTC)
Maybe once in a while, but they really cut him out a lot.
Really, they just focused on ME the entire time. Even when I'm driving, half the time you can't see him.
Steve and Paul just kept calling him a bridge troll lol :$
skittlebox
19th May, 2013 09:33 (UTC)
YOU TOLD HIM TO STOP CLAPPING LOL :$

also why the fuck would you go on a show like that where you're competing AND DOING SHIT and wear a fucking short skirt and heels O_O she looked like she was there to pick up the guys from the black team :/

You kept giving dmitri evil looks lololol:$

LOL THE TWO OF YOU GOING THROUGH THE FENCES LOL

Why did they call you a liar??

i ff through most of it because idc other teams.

I hope you put REALITY TV STAR on your resume~~
hidden_kitten
19th May, 2013 16:25 (UTC)
LOL IKR idr doing that

Angie was....Angie, I suppose. We all chided her for the heels.

WE DESTROYED SNAKEY STRIP and it was amazing!
Liar because they ALL knew how terrified I was of a reverse race, because I can't back up very well....and then I killed them....
( 4 spoke — Orate )