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From before | After this

Lalalalalalalala...sitting at schooooooollll dum de dum de dum de dum Supposed to be doing some sort of English thing for groupwork but I don't know what and the group's not here and it's due tomorrow but it's not very hard doo doo doo dee da [sometimes I actually talk/sing my thoughts, this is not something sudden, ask anyone who's ever eaten near me. I sing to my meals]

I suppose Thanksgiving (which I first typed as 'Tanksgiving'...new holiday, here I come!) dinner with my brother at my dad's went well last night seeing as they actually conversed and I heard no flak given fromeither side. *closes eyes firmly, flashes them open, and rapidly blinks a few times* phew.

So now I just sit around perusing the net and moving around on my wheely-chair until 2.30 rolls around and it is time to go to work.

I have a good idea for a short story to write, but I would like some input on the style. I've found that I prefer to write in first-person present-tense. I have already written a test-thingy of three pages and, although strange, it sounded very good. It comes off reading like a commentary, mostly dialogue with a little description (I hate being descriptive, don't want to go on and on like Tolkien). So, if I were to write something, would you find it irritating to read mostly-dialogue, first-person, present-tense?
I watch him walk out the door in a huff, noticing he's forgotten his belt. In my fury and amusement, I neglect to tell him. Moving around to a window to watch him stomp away, I find his belt and set it on a table. Through the window, I see him struggle to hold his pants up. They fall down and he stumbles and hits the ground in a miserable heap. Laughing, I open the window and throw his belt down while yelling 'you poor slob, this is what happens when you let your anger get the best of you!'
'What do you care?' he yells back, 'it's your fault I left without my belt! You and your...I don't know!'
'Intelligent. Really, you astound me more and more every passing day with your stunning intellect. Tell me, would you come in for tea, good sir or are you just passing by?' I'm not usually this eloquent, but I think he needs it.
'Are you messed up or something? You threw my belt in the garden and now I have to wear a muddy belt!'
At this point, he's threaded his belt through the loops and gotten it twisted. He stands outside, glaring at me with all his might. I smile impishly back at him and walk away.
He'll come back. They always do.
[oh my god I can't believe I wrote that all off the top of my head. and not only taht I went back and edited it...sad, really]
so yeah, anyway, would that be terrible to read a few pages of? There would normally be more descriptive, but I'm at school in a white room and that affects my MAD WRITING SKILLZ. Ahem.

Orthodox is unconscious. Who controls the past, controls the future; who controls the present, controls the past. NOW TESTIFY!! *air guitar and headbang* Sorry, reading 1984 always gets me a little RATM-crazy.

Comments

( 2 spoke — Orate )
dragoonsoul
11th Oct, 2006 00:42 (UTC)
I officially wish to celebrate this new holiday of yours. Where do we get the tanks, though?

Well, Soul Clone, I very much enjoyed that snippet of story. I really like the first-person present-tense style myself, though my biggest problem as a writer has always been tense. I mean to write in one, and end up in others all over the place. First-person doesn't appear to be very popular these days, though I say screw what anyone thinks and do what feels natural.
hidden_kitten
11th Oct, 2006 03:37 (UTC)
You know, my bf even said first-person is usually frowned upon. I prefer reading books written in the first person. My favourite series is first-person present-tense. I have tried to write third-person, but it's terrible for me. If I practice, maybe I'll get better.

Tanks can be obtained at Walmart and dollar stores. *stewardess gestures* here, here, and here.
( 2 spoke — Orate )