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From before | After this

Today's fuck-ass Tweets

Find me here: fapfapmofo



  • 07:47 @tomgreenlive Congratulations! Just For Laughs is no joke........wait.... #
  • 09:20 @cuntymouth ugh and i get every wella email but the queue is all screwed up >:/ #
  • 09:20 im sitting in the car in the sun with the windows open and it's almost 30 degrees and i am convinced i am melting #
  • 09:34 why does society insist i wear clooooothessss uggghhhhh but dnw 2 get raep so, you know, clothes on my body it is #
  • 09:36 idk if i get twitter replies sent on my phone, pretty sure i don't. idek if dms work :( #
  • 09:38 how GENIUS of me to move the car out of the sun! #
  • 11:22 sorry but priority goes to the person sitting in the car, not the guy getting things out of the trunk #
  • 11:22 BUT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE DESERT ON A HORSE WITH NO NAME #nowplaying #
  • 11:26 i can solve a Rubik's cube in just under 2min....should I put it on youtube? no one would watch, but i'd get a kick out of it #
  • 11:41 great, now i smell like poop #
  • 11:45 i am failing at containing laughter over my thought of asking "did you just SHIT?" to someone that farted. omg need 2 grow up #
  • 11:56 whenever people talk in that fake-nice "oh ho ho" tone of voice, I always want to yell out HERP DERP. and i wonder why im socially retarded #
  • 11:58 lolololol herp derp :$ #
  • 12:57 seeking refuge in a grocery store freezer section awww yeah #
  • 13:08 i have no idea if it's good or bad that i now have a note on my credit card that i am currently out of work. card's cancelled anyway #
  • 13:17 one bathroom in a big grocery store in toronto. I HAVE TO PEEEEE #
  • 13:37 can't wait until i can have a garden again :( #
  • 13:51 it's so thrilling walking around a grocery store. i wasted 20 minutes dreaming in the garden section.... #
  • 14:36 ugh my ditches are so sweaty. i am in the car with the a/c on. lol what's environment? phone dying :( #
  • 19:50 And, it appears I do not get any Twitter replies sent to my phone unless I have my phone settings to notify me of EVERYONE. #
  • 19:51 LOL MY TWITTER IS HILARIOUS TODAY HAHA HERP DERP AND POOP SMELL HAHAHAHAHA #
  • 19:55 @harlequeen omg but that means I get EVERYTHING D: sry dnw everyone's chitchat beeping my phone, just replies to me. #
  • 19:59 @harlequeen I don't have mobile web, just SMS (mobile web for me costs a fortune, and I don't have a smartphone, anyway). #
  • 20:00 It's 30 degrees EVERYBODY GET NAKED (I'm first!) #
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